Posted by: beautifulheritage | April 11, 2008

2:16…True Confessions

Some people have expressed wonder that I am blogging while “in labor”. Can I just clarify that, at this moment…I would hardly classify this as ‘labor’? This? This I would classify as a verrrry slow day in a really uncomfortable hotel where people randomly come and impale you with various implements of torture.

Rest assured that when things get intense, I will probably go awol. I will also not be posting pictures of baby emerging, for anyone who might have been wondering. I’m not *that* much of a share-er!

I’m sure you have guessed that things are still creeping by. The pitocin started at 1 m./hr and has been bumped to 4ml/hr but my uterus is sulky. It is simply pouting. It doesn’t wanna do this again. I would ground it, but what it really needs is to get a haircut and get a job.

When the contractions come, they are strong, but I can’t say in all honesty that they are causing me undue pause. I don’t know what I am dilated to, because I have had no checks since the water-breakage, at which point I was at a whopping “2″. Baby’s heartrate remains strong and consistent, filling the room with the sound of its steady, reassuring thump. He is unperterbed, for which I am very grateful!

Some other confessions, as long as I’m being transparent:

  1. I put on makeup this morning. Yeah, that was silly, I know. But there was this suspicion that our pastor might drop by (he did) and I didn’t feel he was prepared for the harsh reality that I was born without eyebrows.
  2. This one is really embarassing. I don’t think I can actually confess it.

Okay, maybe I can.

No, no I can’t.

Okay, I will. I’m all about truth in blogging.

2. I…I…I think the hospital smells good.

I KNOW! I am certifiable. Maybe I need to get out more? I am obviously one sick puppy. But there it is.

I wish I had a way to download some pictures, but I forgot my camera USB cord. If I *could* post pictures, I would post one of a button on my little hospital TV tray that says, and I quote: “Vanity Release.”

Because if there is one thing the hospital requires, it is that you release your vanity. At every turn.

But I will hold onto my carefully-drawn eyebrows, by golly. They can take away my food and give me ice chips, but some things are just non-negotiable.

 

Responses

Sorry the day is creeping by, Jenni.

Induced labors can be very boring. I watched an entire “I Love the 80s!” marathon on VH1 the day (and night) I was in labor with Joel. All ten hours. See? Boredom will make you do all kinds of wacky things, like get nostalgic for rainbow suspenders. Or blog.

Go Jenni GO! And I’m throwing my guess in. 7 pounds 9 ounces.

Oh, and I like the way hospitals smell too. I was there for an x-ray a few weeks ago and I kept getting rushes of happiness. The smell reminds me of having my babies.

tee hee… my uterus totally pouted with my last baby (I only have 3). My husband is a pastor and in the early years he was asked to go and visit a teen mom the day after she had her baby- while he was there talking to her the doctor came in, whipped off the poor girls blanket exposing her “I just birthed a baby” glory and whipped down her underpants to check her stitches… all RIGHT in FRONT of my poor husband. He quickly turned to the wall and tried to inch his way out of the room while the poor girl died of embarrassment. That is DEFINITELY more than she wanted to share with her pastor!

I hear HGTV is good to watch during labor. If you like golf, the Masters is on. Maybe baby will get bored by the announcers and come out of there just to get you to turn it off.

Drumming my fingers…

Ahem. Xavier, it has come to the attention of this establishment that the lease allowing you to occupy your current residence has expired as of several hours ago. Although we suspect that you have caused considerable damage to your dwelling, we shall not take action against you for reimbursement if you agree upon our suggestion that you calmly pack your belongings, unlock the door which you seem to have baricaded against the apocolypse, and vacate the premesis as quickly and orderly as possible. We hope for, and indeed expect, your full cooperation in these matters.

In the words of wise Mamas everywhere, Don’t Make Us Come In There After You, for Pete’s sake!! Hitch up your britches and make a run for it!! Debark your berth!! Git on out here, boy!!

:)

Cassidy loves all the sights, sounds and smells of the hospital. No wonder she wants to be a doctor.

And now for something completely different:

Dear Jenni’s Uterus,

Please get a move on, won’t you?

Your Owner’s Friend,
Anne

Oh, I have soooo done the day-that-never-ends induction thing.

Hang in there!

Soon enough, there will be a tiny person as a reward for your patient endurance.

The Scoutmaster and I always amuse ourselves in the hospital by personifying the IV Pole. We call him Rod.

I like to dance with my skinny friend, Rod. He goes for walks with me. He even comes with me to the bathroom! =)

You find your entertainment where you can…

Blessings on this momentous day!

Oh, 8# even, by the way.

I have been knee-deep in depression for several weeks now. But your birth stories have been fascinating and the last few posts have been very entertaining. Thank you for making a blue sister smile. :-)

We must all be sick…I too like the smell of the hospital, like Gretchen, it reminds me of birthing my babies. It has a comforting scent that leaves me with exhilarated as I inhale. Reminds me of exciting times too.

Dear Mr. Pushy,

We cordially invite you to a dinner party, given my Jenni, in honor of her newest son, Xavier. We sincerely hope that your dear friend Miss Contraction Action is available to accompany you as your date. If she is otherwise engaged, kindly hog-tie her and bring her along anyway.

We are serving appetizers of flavorful ice immediately, along with cocktails of delicious saline mixed with exotic pitocin–but only for the ladies, so drop your date off, and come back for her after a few hours.

Formal wear is not required.

Respectfully anticipating your arrival, we are

The Not-Yet-Official-But-We-Should-Be-For-Pete’s-Sake Jenni and Xavier Fan Club

How do you make a very sweet little old lady say a very dirty word?
You make another very sweet little old lady say, “Bingo!”.

My husband just told me that one. Thought it’d pass a second of time.

Go Jenni! My very specific and yet undisclosed town in Central Texas is pulling for you!

I’ve come over from Rocks, and just so you know, there is help for those of us who have to draw on our eyebrows. There is freedom from the pencil. It’s called Just Browsing by Origins. Yes, it’s eyebrow mascara! No more weird lines if you’re tired. They have many shades. I LOVE it. Just thought you might want to know.

Good update - I agree about the Vanity Release but I think the Modesty Release is in the papers you sign to get IN a hospital. Something about anybody off the street can come into the room and inspect orifices only your spouse and mama should have seen. Do you hear the cheers going up across the country “Push ‘em out Push’em out wayyyyyy out!” not helping is it? Bless you ladybug - glad that Ellen gave you some useful advice - grooming is ever important.

Good luck! I love your stories.

I blogged while in labor six weeks ago. It was a great way to pass the time as my little (or should I say big) guy did not want to make his appearance for 22 hours!!! Best of luck!!

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