Posted by: beautifulheritage | March 13, 2008

P’s and Q’s. Or Q’s and A’s. Or something.

A few folks have asked me some questions which I will heretofore and forthwith answer with all expediency.

Q: What are the ages of your children?
A: 20, 18, 16, 15, 13, 11, 10, 7, 5, 4, 2, and almost-done-baking. That’s today, anyway. These numbers change with a rapidity that frightens me. By the way, there is a woefully out-of-date but hopefully-soon-to-be-revamped family website link over there to the right, underneath my eyeball. If you want more info about myself and my brood, it’s there.

Q: What do you drive?
A: a 15 passenger white Chevy Express known as Moby Dick. White is boring and I would have chosen anything rather than it if I’d had a choice, but I didn’t. At least it has a literary name. I have no idea what sort of gas mileage it gets, but filling up the gas tank is always a walk on the wild side (if you consider passing out at the pump a walk on the wild side).

Q: How do you manage it, financially speaking?
A: This is a potentially long, possibly theological, and quite probably boring-to-many post. It kind of makes me break out in a sweat. At the very least, a light sheen. I’m not certain if the motive behind the questioner was simple curiosity, skepticism, or a desire to have some sort of reassurance as to the security of their 401K as they flung the birth control willy nilly out the window. In any case, I will try to convey something coherent. 

We are not independantly wealthy. I’m not about to disclose my husband’s paycheck, so you’ll have to take my word for it. We work with a budget whose categories are severely disproportionate according to any financial plan you could find (our monthly grocery bill is higher than our mortgage, for instance).

Conversely, we are not on government assistance, just in case you were wondering. Not that I think there is anything wrong with government assistance. But I ain’t about to open up that can o’ worms.

The bottom line is, when we decided to give the Lord full reign over our fruitfulness or non-fruitfulness, whichever the case would be (the former, in case you were wondering), we were unemployed, frightfully young (the sum of our ages was less than 45), and already the parents of two beautiful little girls. We were, in the world’s eyes, incapable of supporting, in any form, the children we already had, much less the eleventy-million that were sure to descend from the clouds over the next few years.

We had no answers for the questions. How will you feed them? How will you clothe them? How will you pay for their births? How will you pay for their doctor bills? How will you get them through school? How will you tend to their needs? What about college? What about weddings? What about your brains, which are obviously deep-fat-fried-extra-crispy in bubbly hot fundamentalist oil?

Well.

We still don’t have the answers. We just decided we’d take one day at a time and hold onto what we felt in our hearts the Lord was saying to us, and He’d take care of the rest.

Strangely enough, He has.

I look about me and see eleven children who have clothes on. They have food in their bellies. They have beds to sleep in. They are healthy. They even have some toys (too many, frankly). How did this happen? I didn’t plan for it. I didn’t make a spreadsheet. I didn’t even try to figure out how much it would require. I was too busy just living. But I look over the past twenty years or so and I see nothing but abundant, amazing, and awesome sufficiency.

We don’t have “enough” in savings, according to the world. We don’t have “enough” of a retirement plan, according to the world. We don’t have “enough” insurance, according to the world. The only thing we have “enough” of, according to the world, is children.

We and the world differ in many of our opinions, obviously.

On that note, I would be remiss if I did not mention the issue of giving. Long ago we took the Lord up on His challenge that we couldn’t out-give Him. I’m not in any way a proponent of the “prosperity gospel” but as we pour out, He continues to pour in. It doesn’t make any sense, but once again we are talking about Heaven’s economy, not the earth’s.

Proverbs 11:24 and 25b says There is one who scatters, yet increases more; And there is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty; he who waters will also be watered himself.

What can I say but that it has proved true in our lives over and over again? I am absolutely convinced that if we had held on to what He said was His, we would never have made it. It doesn’t make sense. Yet there it is.

In the end, the answer is always the same: it’s Him. His grace. His faithfulness. His word. His ways.

And we’re just basking in the glow of His mercy.

Responses

Thank you for that. A simple Q&A post turned beautiful. His thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways our not our ways. Thank you for the challenge to do it His way.

That was a lovely post. We opted to “close my womb” after listening to my doctor and trusting my husband’s leadership. It was a very difficult choice but there is peace. And now God is blessing me in unexpected ways so I can add to our family through Compassion and Africa Renewal Ministries. I love seeing big families, and I’ll always be a little sad I couldn’t have more myself, but I also know that God is using us to bless other children who need our support.

I’m finding that our budget is becoming disproportionate to financial plans, too (and I’m sure the food portion will become more so, especially as the kids grow), but God is good! It works!

Oh, so you do have older ones! For some reason I thought they were ages 14 and under (I was having trouble with the math). Thoughts on teens? I find mine (including the well-behaved one) so depressing somehow. They aren’t as much fun as the younger ones. I know I need an attitude adjustment, but still…

Great post, Jenni! Love you!

I have been lurking for a few days ever since Mrs. Dryer plugged you. This post was such an inspiring testament to tithing/giving/offering/trusting — and obeying! I just wanted to tell you how much I loved it.

Amazing and beautiful.

Our God supplies all of our needs out of His riches in glory! And he has much glory in your family and you! Great post!

“but as we pour out, He continues to pour in.”

tell it Sistah! Tell it!

“The only thing we have “enough” of, according to the world, is children.

We and the world differ in many of our opinions, obviously.”

Thank God for that!!!!!

Beautiful post, Jenni. I love your perspective on life.

What an encouragement! How graceful of you, too, to share your business with us.

When I’m dealing with this load of laundry and dishes here in crazy-dust-bunny land, and someone is usually yelling or crying, I promise I think of how GOD is using you and how full you are of Him, and I thank Him for what He will do in me. It’s humbling to see Him work in you. Really, thank you.

Well, my husband has said when he’s 40 he’s done, or 3 more kids (we have a 10 year old and one on the way), whichever comes first. He’s about to be 33. We also don’t have “enough” of what the world thinks we should have, but while we may be tight and/or broke, our family will be people-rich. That’s what I like about your blog, you are people-rich!

Great answers! I came across your blog through Rocks in my dryer too and was happy to ‘get to know you more’ through this post! We have a large family by most standards (I’m expecting #7 in May) but reading about a family with 11 almost 12 makes our family sound small!

I’ll be back ;)

Laura

beautiful. and true in oh so many ways.

wow.
we serve a big God.
1st time visitor

Thanks Jenni….I have to agree with all you said. My mom is forever on our case about savings and stricter budgets and yadda yadda. But I tell ya, we had 4 kids whild dh was in school. Everytime I put the budget on paper, it didn’t work. I have NO idea how we have made it, and yet we have never “needed” anything. Sure, vacations would be great, or new furniture, or, or or…but our needs are met. And I really have no idea how that happened either, other than the grace of God. Now, dh is done with school and we are FINALLY making it. We are trying hard to get out of the debt we got into during the school years, and we are getting there.
I’m totally rambling in your comments, sorry.
OK, so do you LIKE your van? Can you park it? I keep telling dh that there is no way I can park a big ol’ van!! I’m crazy, I know. I guess my question is, would you recommend your van?

Amen and yes ma’am - trust in the Lord with all your heart - lean not on your own understanding and neiner neiner to the nay sayers about large families. I have NO children (not by choice) but am thrilled that people who love each other, the Lord and kiddos DO have them. No logic to living by faith - it just works.

Thank you for sharing. About your beautiful family AND your faith. I promise you this…it’s only because I was just discussing this with a friend the other day that I say this, BUT technically you could be a grandma soon!!!!! YIKES!!!!!
Remember back in the beginning of the year you said you wanted to be a more faith-ful person. You said it MUCH more eloquently than that…..do you feel like you are??
I’m starting to. I started a prayer journal, it really helps to actually write down things to pray about during the day…..
I have a totally cool prayer that I’m going to post on my blog. It’s become one of my favorites and it really rings of what you said today….

Bekki,

I like that we can go everywhere as a family because of the van. I am grateful to have it!

However, I can’t say that I just love to drive it. It’s not hard…just cumbersome. I haven’t ever had trouble parking it, but backing up makes me quite nervous!

It has given us very little trouble, mechanically, in the years that we have had it, so I would rank it pretty high in that category as well. As far as driveability goes, though, I think any 12 or 15 passenger van is going to be, by nature, unwieldy.

Does that help?

Yep..thanks so much for taking the time to answer me. I’m really wanting a bigger van, but am dragging my feet, mainly I’m a bit afraid of the gas pump! I get nervous with change, and for some reason, a new van would be a big change to me. Call me crazy, I know it. :-)
By the way, I have sooo many more questions I could ask you, but won’t bother you with them…maybe when you go awhile between blog posts and sound bored…you know, with the new baby coming and all! ;-)

Very well written, as always. Thanks for sharing!

I, too, love your perspective on life. I’m so new to reading after you, but I have to tell you, I am so inspired by your life. I know our paths are vastly different, but seeing what God has done for you provides hope for what He can do for me…

I really appreciate posts like yours. The Lord led us to trust Him with our family and the size it would be and we have been blessed already. We are almost two years into marriage with baby number two on the way and the prospect of many more. Thanks for the openness you have and the desire to follow Him despite what the world says.

Great answers, Jenni. I can attest to giving and then receiving in abundance. It doesn’t make sense, in the world’s eyes, it doesn’t add up, but somehow- it does! You are very blessed to have such a large, beautiful family…and your writing ability is something to be admired too ;-)

“deep-fat-fried-extra-crispy in bubbly hot fundamentalist oil”

Cracking up over here.

You knocked my socks off with this post, LOVE it. Amen and Amen.

You are awesome! I love your family and your beliefs~

Hooray for this post! And hooray for the Lords economy of abundance! And again, for the principle of tithing! I look at our finances, and they just do not add up, yet we make it just fine. Granted, we have just the three, but the principles are the same, and the blessing flow like water.

What a gorgeous family you have! Thanks, thanks, and ever thanks for such a wonderful testimony to God’s provision, His wisdom, and His gentle faithfulness to our humanness….

Thank you for sharing this. We struggled for quite awhile with infertility and pregnancy loss, so stories like yours, while confounding, are always fascinating to me. For so many years I couldn’t imagine getting pregnant and keeping it, let alone having 11 to actually take home with me!

But as we enjoy the 6 1/2 month old miracle in our household today and expect our second miracle (already!) by early November, your post has been one to encourage me NOT to worry about the financial aspect. God has provided us the children, wouldn’t He also provide us a way to care for them? Why should I fret when He has a plan already set to go?

Thank you…I needed to hear this today. :-)

I found you through Heth…love the post, and best wishes with the next one!!!

found you through Heth…love the post! My God bless #12!!!!

Beautiful post! I too came here thanks to Rocks. Your tagline got me right away…finding Mary buried in the Martha. That line and three of your posts have already proven you are a gifted writer!

I’m approaching 38, still single but with a wonderful man of faith in my life. And my doctor says she’s certain I’m in perimenopause. Yay me.
BF is the youngest of 8 children (which I find a little overwhelming… as I am the youngest of three) and asked me when we were first dating, how many kids I’d want to have. Two, I replied. Three? he urged.
My compromise… “I’ll give you two pregnancies… whatever you can plant in there, I’ll bear!”
The perimenopause diagnosis came a few months later.
He took it well… saying, “I always believed God had children in my plan. Maybe He doesn’t. If this relationship is right, we’ll take what God gives us” Awww.

This was a really beautiful post. Thank you for sharing so openly.

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